Friday, September 17, 2010
A bit real
This week a blog friend, wrote and told me she had fibromyalgia. Normally, I would just feel so bad for that person(s) and try to encourage them. This time, I started crying while looking at my laptop. I was thinking, "Please Lord, not another one". I know the battle it is. It is not a death sentence, but it is a up-hill struggle ALMOST everyday. I try not to dwell on it, or even blog on it. Today I will only because, there will be people with "Chronic diseases" come in your life. Be gentle with them....it is a lonely walk. Why, because...truly in my case, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is oh so weak". I say "no" to most things. I do everything in spurts. I can walk into a store and browse for minutes compared to what I used to do...I most often will leave my husband to wait in line or finish as I just need to get to the car, I hurt so bad. My sleep is horrible...most people with fibro have this symptom.
I get asked most often about meds. Well, it seems like everything has it's side effects, right now the side effects seem to make everything worse. I tend to "bite the bullet". I can't get tough, or "man up"...and let me tell you IF anyone I know had this just for a few hours, they would finally "get it". I am not bitter--that passed long ago. I just miss the "old me". I think those I love, miss the old Deby. So today, I write a bit more about this struggle, just in case you or someone you know gets stricken with this. I know it could be WORSE. I CLING to:
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
I share this quote from Rochelle's Learning to Trust Blog:
“In [Fibromyalgia], there is a generalized disturbance of how pain is processed. As the central nervous system becomes more sensitized, pain becomes more intense in response to any given stimulus, and this pain does not diminish as quickly as it does in a healthy individual. Eventually, the pain remains long after the stimulus or cause has ended. The FM patient feels amplified pain, and also may experience sensations of pain in response to normally nonpainful stimuli such as noise, touch, and light. The cognitive dysfunction that may also accompany FM can massively disrupt the patient’s lifestyle. You keep losing things, and you begin to think that one of them is your mind. The world has become a game where the rules change daily, and nobody tells you what they are. You can easily become overwhelmed.”
~ From the Foreword, Mari Skelly, Women Living with Fibromyalgia, ©2002
Yes,it could be worse. There are some that read my blog, that have "worse". This is not for them. It is for my friend who was just diagnosed and for me, sometimes I just need to be a bit real.