A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

Monday, July 7, 2008

I am guilty too

Does it ever bug you when you
see someone parked in the Handicapped
Parking Space and they seem so young,
or so healthy. Do you think *why are they parking there*?
Do you sometimes judge them by the way they look, maybe they
*look* healthy. I am sure most of you have never thought
twice when you see this scenario. I have..I have judged the
person using the special parking place, I have wrongly judged.
Why do I blog about this? Well I am that person now, using the handicap spot.
I get the dirty looks, believe me you know it when you see them.
What people don't realize is that there are the unseen things going on in many of
our bodies. It can be someone with asmtha that just parking that closer makes a difference.
It can be someone that just needs to have a spot closer just to be able to go out.
This I know, I wish I didn't have a reason to qualify for this priviledge. Today is one of those days.
I would encourage you to think twice, if you were like me, and jumping to conclusions.
Maybe pray for that person, they might be having a day when they could use your
prayers, yours might be the only prayers that someone has prayed for them.


Dawn said...

Yep...guilty here as well!

Tis true though, just becasue someone looks healthy on the outside doesn't mean they are healthy on the inside...

You can now look at the handicapped spot as a blessing. God provided many of those types of spots for his 'health challenged' children. :-)
Forget about what others think. They will get over it.
If you need the handicapped spot, than ya need it, simple as that dear one.

You have a good week now!


Paula said...

Dear Deby,
Thank you for visiting me and for your kind and encouraging comments!!! I understand how one can look healthy and not be healthy at all!

I am sorry you need to use the handicap spot, but it is nothing to feel badly about! You are so right, people should not judge others by how they look! Thank you for being humble and sharing your thoughts about this. You are a blessing!

The Lord bless you dear friend,

Tracy said...

My grandma (84)lives with us. I often drop her at the door and then park in a handicapped spot so that she can easily walk back to the car when we're done. (She has a mirror tag.) I'm often the recipient of those looks. BTW, I NEVER park there unless she is with me.

Deborah said...

Hi Deby, I haven't had the time to leave many comments the past few days, but I wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. I know how much you don't want to need that parking spot...I'll be praying for you. ~~~Deb

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

Jack and I get that too. I hate us having to use handicap parking or even being qualified to do so. So often if people can't see the ailment they think it doesn't exist!

Anonymous said...

I don't think it ever occured to me that someone would use a handicapped sign/parking spot if they didn't need to... until our former mayor was caught doing it. His wife has MS and apparently he took advantage of the situation to get a parking spot closer to a location he wanted to get into.

I really like your suggestion to pray for the person using the handicapped spot. I'm sure our former mayor could have benefitted from prayer, even though he wasn't handicapped.

Even though I've never judged anyone who used a handicapped parking space, I *did* judge a few people with fibromyalgia. To my shame, I thought it was all in their heads, and look at me now. :o(

Anonymous said...

PS: I forgot to write that I'm so sorry that you *need* to use handicapped parking spots now, Deby.

Shelia said...

Oh, my! I qualify as one of the quilty ones - being judgmental! I have a handicapped rearview mirror tag and use it when I take my mother around - she's 85. I do appreciate when we can find the handicapped parking - it makes it so much easier for her. I'm sorry you have to go thru this. But on a lighter note,come to see me tomorrow! I'm having a tea party - along with many others - it should be fun!
Be a sweetie,
Shelia ;)

Pam said...

Yep, I can relate to both sides of that coin! I received my first handicap parking plackard while pregnant with Shane. I bled the entire pregnancy, and on top of that, couldn't take any of my anti-inflammation meds for the RA. What few times I escaped from bed rest during those 9 months, I loved touring Wally World and of course I had numerous Dr.'s appts. Anyway, I realized that I had judged others wrongly before that point. And now found myself getting those "looks"! Thanks for bringing this to light. It really hits on our spiritual condition. I mean, all we think, say, and do should honor Christ, even how we think of strangers in a handicap spot!
Please pray for my sick Shaney Pooh! We are off to the pediatrician in a bit, and we're supposed to leave for our vacation in the morning. The cold seems to have settled in his ears! OUch!

A Note From Theresa said...

(red face with guilt) I never thought of that. Thanks for posting this.

Anonymous said...

I have learned in my own life that often the areas in which I judge others, is the very thing that the Lord will bring into my life. Perhaps to teach me to have more compassion? (o; I try and be *very* careful about judging now. I think that's what the verse is saying when it says..."Judge not lest ye be judged." It's a warning to us to be careful in this area of judging.

Another situation I read about on a blog is a wife married to a man in a wheel chair. She posted that when she would stop to get gas (and her husband was with her, sitting in the passenger seat) people would give him dirty looks because it 'appeared' that he was making his "poor wife" pump the gas while he just sat there. I'm so glad she posted about that because I had never thought of it that way before.

50s Housewife said...

What a good idea to pray for the person! We always pray when we see an ambulance, but I never thought to pray for the person parking in a handicapped spot.

My mom was in this situation about 2 years ago. She fell off her horse and broke her pelvis. She didn't have a cast or anything obvious, so she got some of "those looks" too. Thankfully she no longer needs handicapped parking.

Happymama said...

Yep, guilty here too! I do keep in mind and tell myself there may be something going on I can not see. There HAVE been times when I see someone use their parking privilege so their passenger can run in and run out of a place. And I do mean run. Unfortunately, I am also related to a person that used to use his wife's handicap sticker when he would go out anywhere. He was NOT handicap And was proud of the fact that he had a sticker in the glove compartment. Absolutely NO shame. I'll admit that I get upset because I see my daddy who can not walk long distances without almost falling over and my poor mother who can barely walk from one end of the house to the other because of her knees and other health issues. But! Like you said, don't be quit to judge because they APPEAR to be healthy. Good reminder.


Ginny said...

I try hard not to judge those I see in handicapped spots - especially since I've had a permit for many years - but sometimes I do find myself wondering. Then I will chastise myself, knowing that not all disabilities are easily seen. It's always good to be reminded not to judge.

Kelly said...

Oh my goodnes, thank you for a real eye opener.......I confess, I am guilty of thoughts of wondering why so and so may park there. Thank you for posting something like this, you for sure have changed the way I view things like that, and I pray for forgiveness, and oddly I most likely never thought I was judging, but I see now how I was.


Heather said...

I'm so sorry that you have such a thorn that would warrant that space...I honestly never thought anything at all about who parked in those spaces or even took time to notice who was in those spaces... I was just convicted that I *should* take notice to see if they need any assistance! :(


Dear Deby, this post was a great help to me. I am one of those people who need one of those signs but have not gotten one because I look very healthy and I know that I would get the dirty looks and thoughts. My pride has just not allowed me to do what I need to do. I see that I have been wrong. I guess I had rather just not go many times because I can't walk that far than to go and get the dirty looks. They hurt too much but you have made me realize that I should not fear what the looks on men's faces can do to me. I should just pray for them. connie from Texas

Abounding Treasures said...


I was guilty of that very thing *before* I was the one in the place of being judged!

For about a few years even before my heart transplant, I couldn't walk very much.

I had been encouraged to get a handicapped parking tag and use it and it made all the difference in the world! I was able to do my *little bit* and still feel a contributing member of society and my family.

I know exactly what it felt like to be looked at harshly and to have people wonder why in the world a person who *looked* so healthy and young would be so selfish!

I may have *looked* healthy on the outside, but inside, my heart was getting weaker and weaker until eventually I reached the point where I could barely inch my way from my bed to the bathroom next door :o(

I try very hard to remember that lesson and not to judge anyone in any situation ... I have no idea what is really going on *inside* and that's where the Lord looks and it's Him alone who knows and understands!

Thanks for sharing where you're at right now and I love your idea of praying for the individual because I am sure they are going through rough times.


Anonymous said...

Dear Deby;

This is a topic that is very close to my heart. I am not handicapped but my little girl. She does not look like a handicapped girl, so when they look inside the car - I also get the looks, the sneers, but I also know, that I am not to take any of this personally... Our Lord Jesus Christ created her and
He is in complete control of the situation.
Thank you for sharing, you have a knack for posting the most "to the point" thoughts. The Holy Spirit sure has a lot to say :)



Tiffany said...

I am also guilty of this!! You think of old grandmas and grandpas using those spaces that come hobbling out of their cars. When in fact thats not always the case. Thank you Jesus for forgiving me of my sins. I think twice now that my friend has one. She spinal problem and was telling me how much easier it was to go to the store and places with a handicap sticker. If you would see her though you would think she was a healthy normal 27 year old.

Jordin said...

I've never thought of it that way. If a person wasn't hobbling to the store, I immediately judged them in my mind. Thank you for bringing this up. We truly never know what is going on in the lives of others.

Mrs. Amy Brigham said...

Very good point, Deby! There are so many situations in life where we are far too quick to judge. I remember on the day I went to have my daughter, in the madness of preparing to head to the hospital FIVE WEEKS early, I forgot to put on my wedding ring. An older woman in the hospital lobby gave me a dirty look when she saw my naked ring finger. Sean was wearing his ring, and sheesh, I was in labor...that ought to have earned me a break. LOL. :P

HOPE said...

Deby...I'm sorry to know that you "need" to have this spot now..but thankful it is there for you to make life a little easier, inspite of the looks!

I never thought about the man sitting next to his wife...and her pumping gas...I have judged wrongly, but I have to say I would have to "think" that he must be ill or something of that nature.

Maybe you can put a sticker on your car that says THANK YOU for the blessing of helping me today with this handicap parking spot!

Donna said...

This can extend beyond parking spaces. Check out clerk short with you? Maybe her husband left her. Waitress get your order wrong? Maybe her child is sick. God taught me this lesson a while ago and I'm so thankful He did. We should always give others the benefit of the doubt and withhold judgment unless we know for certain.

HOPE said...

Amen Donna...I found if you SMILE and be pleasant and ask HOW ARE YOU TODAY instead of waiting for them to ask YOU...it puts a smile on their face that you were concerened about them... I've had many postitive reponses and then handed a Gospel tract they are receptive!

Humble wife said...

Bill has to use handicapped spots and gets this often until he gets out. It was very hard for him to use a handicapped spot at first.

I wish the same with as you, that Bill did not qualify for this *privilege.
I am sorry that you need it too.

SA said...

Deby, it has been quite some time since I have ventured to your blog and boy do I miss it. I always love your talks of the Lord and how to apply him to everyday life. I used to work with Melissa through I/o Trak...anyhow, today I was caatching up on pasts posts and came across this one. My husband who is 28 qualifies for the handicap spot. It is very hard for us to use it, although there are days when it is a must. Having served our country in the US Navy for 6 years and 3 knee surgeries later, there are days when he just can't walk, much less across a parking lot. I have to tell you we have been cursed at, yelled at and looked down upon for being so young with a baby and having to use disabled parking. It breaks our heart and 90% of the time we do not park there, for we know there are others that need it much worse than he. Kudos to you for posting this and we love reading your blogs and appreciate your prayers. God Bless, may the Lord heal those who judge, and Bless those who continue to serve him and our Country for our freedom.
Sarah Arnold