A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

Thursday, July 19, 2007

My discontent--a confession update June 08 a bit


Philippians 4:11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.

My STORY

I have known for awhile that I would need to write a bit about what has gone on
in my life and heart for a couple of years...
to make it shorter than longer....
will start at the beginning of a new era in our life together, my husband and I.

Two + years ago we sold our largish home to our daughter/sil...and their family. We wanted to downsize...with having fibromyalgia I just could not keep up. My house was a split level. My husband had totally remodeled the kitchen, given me more cupboards then a woman could ever want. I loved that kitchen...he would paint rooms for me....and my everchanging mind with colors.....
My husband has more energy than anyone I know. I am blessed.

After we moved out...we rented a duplex. It was lovely, 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths...
vaulted ceiling, fireplace and attached two car garage....
well after 2 months there we realized that the management of the area did not control noise and other things.
WE started looking for a place to buy.

My husband had been doing a very long commute to and from work for 7 years. We decided to get closer to his work even though it would mean not being as close to our granchildren. We thought of having a manufactured home put on small bit of property.... a deal had been worked out.......Well the next morning we were to go put a deposit on the home. Neither of us had a peace from the Lord about it......so we went to our salesman and explained to him our reasons(I won't go into them here)....
.God is so good..this man was a Christian and totally understood our situation.

Well, the salesman said to my husband. I have a SINGLE wide mobile home downtown in a beautiful park. It is older and it is a senior park. At that time neither of us was old enough to live there. We drove there and he was right, the mobile home park is beautiful and very well kept.
All I kept thinking is a SINGLE wide mobile home, you got to be kidding.


Ladies you and I know a single wide mobile home is not very large. We thought ,yes we will go see it....the moment we walked in....my sweet, diligent husband got the look of Home Depot Stars in his eyes...... Oh my goodness did this place need work....It was so ugly inside. So dated...so YUCK !!!!!!

Well we bought it.....and we moved into it..putting a large quantity of our belongings in storage.
It has not been easy.

In the three years we have been here...my husband has totally redone the whole inside. He has worked so hard....then...last summer he did vinyl siding on the outside...(my sweet daughter in law Gina spent days learning the art of siding here)my son Matt and son in law Mark..helped with some of the prework on the outside....it was HOT out too....my dh built a wonderful cover over my deck...he has done great landscaping. Our son in law has helped him put laminate flooring in...we have all new windows....the place is wonderful. As I type..he is off this week finishing the last room Believe it or not we have 3 bedrooms 2 bathrooms...You would NEVER recognize the transformation. I am learning to love my little house.
I am learning to be content.
It has, and is still a process.

Yet....I am writing to tell you...that for almost the first year or more.
I would complain about it, I would call it my hovel, the tube, the tin box....
some pretty ugly things coming out of my mouth.
I am embarrassed to tell you how many derogatory things I would say about this place...
yet my diligent husband of almost 36 years has kept working away at it....

I am saying all of this....to tell my husband publically...I am SORRY......please ladies...learn from me...
be content with what you have...
.most Americans think it is our right to all have big beautiful houses....
we have NO RIGHTS....
what we have is because of the Lord.
Most Christians in other countries do not live like American Christians...
Learn from me....appreciate what your husband provides...
my attitude has been horrible.
Life is so short.
In the past 4 years, my father, mother and younger brother have gone on to be with the Lord.
I have another younger brother that has brain cancer
. Appreciate all that people do for you.
In my home now....
I am learning to live with less....
but my house is still over flowing.
I am learning to organize creatively......
to be thankful even more for my husband....
I am working on not comparing myself to anyone else.
This is and is still a process
It is hard not to want what others have.
I see it all the time in blogland.
I want to be content.
I believe God honors my desire in this area.
Are you content?
Deby

28 comments:

Maxine said...

Beautiful testimony, Deby! I don't know what made me come back here again tonight, but I'm glad I did! This is a message that needs to be sounded more in this country of ours. I hope you will be blessed beyond measure in your sweet home. These are the riches we hear about in the book of Proverbs. I'm sure the Lord and your husband have forgiven you so now, ENJOY what they both have given to you. I hope you don't mind if I link to this post from my weekly sidebar feature at my Scraps blog. Thanks!

Daughter of the King said...

I am honored Maxine....
Deby

Susan said...

((((Deby)))) I know exactly what you're talking about! I have been so discontent many times in my life. I have to keep confessing it and seeking to forsake it. It's not a problem right now, but I know myself! It was sweet of you to write about this and be so transparent. It takes courage to do that! God bless you!

MochaMIssy said...

He is a good man... that husband of yours (my dad :) ) I don't think Mark would ever paint and repaint as many times as dad has... I think he should be a professional painter by now!!

Love you! and your place is looking cuter and cuter every day!

Sharon said...

I read every word and want you to know that God will bless you for your honesty. I hope many women will read your testimony.

A Note From Theresa said...

Oh my,,, when I first started to read about your little ugly house I thought "not me" but I kept reading and was glad I did. My thoughts changed real quick.

Thanks for showing me how to love my husband better.

Anonymous said...

www.xanga.com/coffeewife here. Can I be honest? I'm in the 'change' (kinda a couple of months now)...and am in the process of beginning to even out my hormones...my COMPLAINING and the LACK OF SELF-CONTROL on it is ridiculous!!! God helps me not spout with the mouth; now all I do is cry!! LOL!!! I'm not into anything but herbal remedies and if what I'm using does it's 'promised' job, I should be 'better' in 3 months! Oy...... not to take away from this beautiful confession/apology to your beloved. Just maybe the hormone thing that is making me crazed has been a factor for the other commentors?

Daughter of the King said...

Susan...
I have known for sometime that I had to write my story about my house..it was hard..thank you sweet friend for your encouragement.

Mochamissy,
Yes, your dad is the best...and I am sorry that you have had to hear some of the ugly comments that have come out of my mouth...when he has worked so hard....You are the best daugher ever....love that husband of yours too.

Sharon....Even after so many years of marriage it is still easy to get into the flesh...thanks for your kind words...I am so so glad that I have found your blog...isn't funny how the Lord does that?

Theresa,
I just love the honesty that comes from you....yes..the Lord indeed does want us to love our husbands even more....it is a lifelong process.

coffeewife... Oh my I do know the hormone thing...mine came at age 26..everything was removed..no...for me in this case..I know it was because....I was not in the WORD , we were not settled in a church and I was so inward focused. It is easy to do when you move to a new town...and the family that you had, where you could just stop in whenever for a cuppa is not there. I was overwhelmed with grief. I am NOT making excuses. I looked inward...not upward....spent hours in front of the t.v. ....and you know, I could be there again, except for God's grace. I will pray that your hormones get straightened out, I do know how that feels....it seems to take a hold of you....let's keep in touch..I will pray for you as I am sure others will when they read this...email me if you would like too...

Deby

javagirl1111 said...

You are a special lady!

Thank you for all your kind comments... I love em;-)

And I hope you're enjoying your cuppa... you can always count on me for caffeine temptation. lol

Hugs!

Pam said...

God bless you Deby. Your transparancy touched my heart on a very deep level. I too have a chronic illness but a hubby with enough energy for the both of us---thank God!! This was a wonderful lesson and a wonderful way to mentor we ladies who read your blog.

Mrs.B said...

Oh Deby, what a beautiful testimony!--Thank you so much for sharing it, it blessed my heart. (o:


Blessings,
~Mrs.B

Donna said...

Hi: I stopped by via Mrs. B's blog. I really enjoyed this post. This is something I've had to learn as well. You do sound like a very blessed lady with such a handy husband!

Debbie J. said...

Well said! This is exactly what I have been feeling this past week in a post I had called "Thankful in all Things". The Lord has spoiled me and I shouldn't complain at all..... EVER.....ever.... ever. Thanks...

Jungle Mom said...

I bet it is lovely! While living in a mud hut with a palm roof in the jungle for over ten years, I learned that HOME is where the HEART is. My husband worked very hard to make it the best possible mud hut!!! I admire you for writing this to apologize publicly to your hubby!!!

jennifer said...

Deby Thank you for sharing this story, and I know that if you have been married 36 years he knows you and knows your heart!

I needed this and am so glad to read it. We too downsized due to husbands accident and financial situation, and just 2 nights ago I murmured (again) after running into chair in the night.

I am sorry too, and try not to be ingrateful.We are so blessed.

I love your story, please share photos!!!

Patty said...

I felt much the same when we moved into a rental house after moving to Texas from the mountains of Oregon where we had land and a working farm. But, God led me through the discontentment and blessed me beyond my onw imagination with a home down the road from where we rented for a few months. Our home was small, odd shaped, and in need of so much work. That was 16 years ago now and this home is so full of love and remodeled just the way we want. No debt, and it is the very place where simple contentment flows. I enjoyed reading your blog today

Melissa said...

you always touch my heart in some way when you write. Thank you so much. I'm learning to be patient. Right now we rent from my parents best friends. We pay very little in rent but yet I complain b/c we don't have central heat and air and that I want to buy or build my own house. My parents are going to start sometime in the near future building them a new home and we will move in their house when they do...I keep telling them to hurry up. It is selfish of me really. I need to learn patience. that is a big struggle for me. I also need to work better at being a better housewife. I HATE to clean...my husband gets mad at me for it. It's not like our house is totally trash..I just only do enough to make it look clean. I don't go the extra mile to make it look spotless...please pray for me that I can change all of this!!!!!!!

CONNIE'S THOUGHTS FROM THE HEART said...

I think this is a lesson we all have to learn in one way or another, Deby. It was a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing your heart with us in such a public way. I am sure the Lord will use it to help someone else. Connie from Texas

Daughter of the King said...

java girl
Thank you for your kind words...yep.sure do love that coffee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pam
Your blog mentors me...yes I amm so thankful for my husband that more than picks up the slack and UNDERSTANDS
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mrs. B.
my goodness, you know how I feel about you and your blog ....I am blessed by it so much and thank you for the follow up blog you did on this posting....you are too sweet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Donna,
thank you for stopping by...oh yes, my husband is such a blessing..and the love my life besides the Lord.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Debbie,
You are SO right...and I love your words...EVER..ever...ever......
~~~~~~~~~~~~
jungle mom,
Do you know after reading your blog or quite sometime, I have thought of you...and how easy WE have it..your life is a testimony of contentment to me....
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jennifer,
I think alot of us Christian women stuggle with what we don't have...it is good to know that I am not alone....and that we can encourage each other in this area of our lives...yes someday there will be pictures...
~~~~~~~~~
Patty
love your comments about the LOVE in The home...oh yes, isn't that what it is about....
~~~~~~~~~
Melissa,
Dear friend....we all struggle with discontentment,at one time or another....I have to remind myself to thank and thank and thank the Lord for everything HE gives me...and not to compare myself with WHAT HE gives others...truth is we cannot take any of it with us to Heaven....you are a blessing
~~~~~~~~~
Connie...Thank you for your kind words....your blog, mentors me in such a way, look forward to reading it.

runningtothecross said...

The whole time I read this, I was knodding my head. We rent a home, a large home, but many things need to be done to it to make it better. However, since we don't own it, we don't have free reign to improve it.

Thank you for your testimony! It has really blessed my heart!

Blessings!
Heather

Thanks for visiting my blog (Home Inspirations), it is the blog that I DO have free reign of! (O;

Sarah Joy said...

Deby I believe most of us are faced with the question of discontentment in our lives. There is always something, no matter how much or how little I've had, that I can be unthankful for. But God always gives us what we need. Always. (Actually, I've got a whole lot more than I need.) I'm so happy for you that you've found a home in your dwelling!

Laura said...

Amen! Enjoyed your post ~ thank you for dropping by my blog! :-)

Daughter of the King said...

Running to the Cross,
I am so glad that you were blessed by my post....I sure do know how hard it is to rent sometime....I have had landlords that have given me alot of freedom, others have not..Your blog is lovely too...
Deby
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sarah....oh yes...yes...God indeed does give us more than we deserve. To learn contentment is not always easy for me...but I am so thankful for the inspiration of Godly woman in my life...to include blogland.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laura,
Thank you for visiting my blog and comment..I will be back at yours..
Deby

Elizabeth said...

Hi Deby,
Thank you for sharing.It is hard at times to just settle in and be contend where we are. Those are the times I have to really lean on Jesus.
Hugs,
Elizabeth

Love Sows Seeds said...

This is a wonderful testimony, what a blessing it is to read it.

Lady-in-the-Making said...

Oh Dear Deby, how can ever thank you enough for pointing me towards this post of yours. Our Good God knows I needed it today. Thank you so much. God bless you.

blackberrycottage said...

Dear Deby,
Oh how I loved reading this post. I can relate to you and how you have made sacrifices and changes and yet still come through smiling and learning to depend on the One who gives us all we need.
I live in a three bedroom one bathroom home with 5 of us, I homeschool so my lounge looks like an office and school room. I too am learning to be conteneted after we just took our house off the market after 6 months of no sale or offers. My flesh screams to have more room. My spirit is yielding to the Lord, like you to be more contented. Praise God for your testimony. It uplifted and encouraged me to spur on and to grow (even in confined spaces)
hugs Sandra NZ

Abounding Treasures said...

Deby,

I hadn't yet discovered the world of blogging when you wrote this and I'm so glad that I decided to read it to understand your post today!

What a story you have to share! I've been there myself, so understand completely what you're talking about.

In His Grace,
Dallas