A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

It's not about me


Since many of asked what is up?...I will try and make it brief.
I am 8 weeks past surgery. The pain in the foot is MUCH better, but when I had to wear the BOOT--it really did some RUIN to my back and hips. I also had something happen in my right knee....so I went for more MRI's....
There are some tears in the miniscus. I have to get referred to a orthopedic surgeon (VERY SAD FACE )...my right ankle has much wrong with it, but does not need surgery.
I am in different lace up (ugly) braces to keep the ankles stable. I am trying hard to find comfortable and supportive shoes, so far I am trying out the New Balance 927.
........I am slowly getting back into the swing of things. I can barely walk any distance without the pain in my back being excruciating, where I will break out in a sweat. We bought a wheel chair off of Craig's list for $100.00, just so now and then I can *get out*. I am not sleeping much yet, the knee pain seems to wake me up...aaARGH !!!!!
I had one really LOW, low day. I know it is the prayers of the saints that have upheld me.
Let me tell you what I dislike about ALL of this:
You become so self focused.
You can't sometimes help it as the pain controls you. The meds mess with your mind (at least for me) sometimes. I feel like it has made me so narcisstic. I feel like I fight it. I know life is NOT "ALL ABOUT ME". I don't want it to be. Then the flip side is I find myself getting very hard on myself...those nagging voices....come on we ALL have them.
Yet.....I still still KNOW, this is nothing in the scheme of things. Jesus is allowing this, it could all be WORSE and WORSER and even WORSER....I know this. So with all that being said. Can I end this saying : I am fine....I am saved and going to Heaven one day...and whatever the future holds I know it is for my good. I appreciate you all so much and hope to start catching up on all of your blogs. I hope this hasn't been too much information...
~~deby
btw...picture taken downtown by a cupcake shop..thought it was sooooo cute...

16 comments:

Mrs. C said...

((Gentle Hugs))
:)

Persuaded said...

Deby my dear.. you are one of the *least* self involved folks I have ever met! ((hugs)) Pain is a terrible thing, it just tears at you emotionally as well as physically... please be easy on yourself- physically and emotionally♥ Praying for you dear, that you would have strength, courage and grace, And that all the Lord wishes to accomplish in you will be done☺

Vikki G said...

Deby,
I am so very sorry for the pain you are undergoing~ As someone who lives with chronic pain I understand the feelings you are having and all I can say is lean on Jesus. He will sustain you! Don't be so hard on yourself because a lot of what you are feeling is due to the pain levels and not you. I will be praying for you!
Blessings,
Vikki

Susan said...

(((Deby))), I think you'll find that people are interested in how you're doing and truly want to know about all the things you're going through. Never hesitate to share with us what is going on in your life! Also . . . rest. Just rest in this season. It's part of God's plan in your life at this point, so rest in that and try not to be hard on yourself. Pain will cause you to focus on YOU - because something needs attention when there's pain! You don't have to publish this if you don't want to. I just wanted to encourage you to rest and relax. Love you!

Heart2Heart said...

Deby,

I can only imagine how difficult it must be to wish that you were whole again, no pain and just 100% healed. However I have found that God uses those unique moments to draw us closer to Him using only what we may have available to us.

For example, when I cracked my tail bone and had to lie only on one side or the other for 7 days, I was thinking about all the things I needed to do and what I couldn't do.

Yet in those very moments, my blogging family rallied for me and asked me to continue to blog, to share what was going on and I found my favorite sermons from our pastor were available on line for my enjoyment. So even though I couldn't attend service, I was still able to use this time to just be with God and let Him work on me.

Hang in there sweeties! I am still praying for you even though it hurts like heck to get down on my knees and get back up again. It's well worth it.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Anonymous said...

The last thing you need is for one more person telling you to GET WELL. It is not that easy..... so instead I am telling you I'm sorry you are hurting and discouraged and that I am praying for you and asking God to take care of you every step, every day and every way. God will wipe away any tears and bring you back in an even greater way. Love ya, Vi Abing

Mrs. Julie Fink said...

bless your heart! these are hard times. i am praying for you. wish you lived closer and we could "sit around and recover" together.

Mrs.Rabe said...

Thanks for the update Deby! You have had some difficult things, bless you.

It is hard for us to understand why the Lord would allow somethings to happen. We are so finite - can't see the big picture.

God is so faithful, though.

HOPE said...

I agree with Susan, Deby...rest and let this "season" be for that...and as you read in my blog today TIME. Use this for praying for others who are suffering as well, you can be the compassionate friend and prayer warrior they need also.

So many enjoy your blog...so as you are able...we are still here to visit you and with much prayer!

God bless you with strength and comfort as you rest...and in HIM.

HUGS..
HOPE

Maxine said...

So sorry you are having all these difficult days, Deby, but I know the Lord is going to take you by the hand and lead you through.

Tori said...

Oh Deby, wish I were there to give you a little hug. It sounds like you're going through the wringer.
Hang in there and try your best to fight off those negative thoughts the tempter so freely gives us.
I'm praying for ya, hang in there. Even this shall pass!

~Miss Sandra~ aka Blackberry Cottage said...

hi my dear friend~
I am sorry you have had added problems.........and no, it wasn't too much information. My heart goes out to you and I will be praying for your sweet healing and recovery.
Much love,
Sandra nz

J.H said...

Hello, I stumble upon your blog from sister Julie. I just wish you feeling better soon :-)

p.s: I love your blog layout :-)

Jess @kjvchristianwallpapers.blogspot.com

jAne said...

((( gentle hug )))

Even through this, the Lord has a purpose. Hard for me to understand, for I know sharing that and experiencing it aren't the same thing.

Prayer breathed heavenward, dear friend. <><

jAne at tickleberry farm

Mrs. Michele B said...

Thinking about you and still praying for you my friend. (o:

Please don't be so hard on yourself, you are NOT a narcissist.

He leadeth me beside still waters....

Blessings and Hugs,
~Michele

Mrs. Mobunny said...

Awww, sorry for your pain. :(