A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.
Proverbs 25:11

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

to be a homemaker


I am a bit sad in my heart today. It started yesterday
when I was at a meeting. It has lingered.


This lady at the meeting mentioned that she had been laid off for a few weeks now and is just so bored and does not know what to do with herself. She does now have her children at home with her.
She was so dismayed and disgruntled. She put her *new situation* out there for people to comment. What startled me was the opinions that the others had.
The opinions ranged from sympathy, to I know how that is honey, to hey, read a book.
I mean, I wanted my turn to say. "What???--truly there are not enough hours in a day, to fill my time with things I like to do, or want to do, or more IMPORTANTLY, need to do. I was sad as the women giving ideas were, in my age range,some older, some younger and they did not have ANY good suggestions for this young mother. Is it a wonder that the family is falling apart? So you understand, this was not a Christian meeting.


This is the *WORLD's* thinking. The world has so de-valued the role of a homemaker that when one has no choice but to stay home, they are *LOST* .
I don't know if I will ever have a chance to speak and to encourage this young woman. I am NOT shy, so the fact that I didn't even get to put my .02 worth in was unusual.
I don't know her name, the Lord does.
Homemaking----oh one should never be bored.
Really, I know we all get behind etc...but truly I have so many things that interest me.
I really just wish I had the energy to do all the things that I think about.
Sorry this is so longwinded, at least for me.
~deby

24 comments:

Rebecca said...

Hi Deby...

Love visiting your blog...

I've heard this same comment over and over again.... Truly a sad state our world is in today...

BECKY said...

I just love your heart, Deby. And of course, I so agree. Truly sad!! They'd have to drag me away from my home and my daughters...there isn't enough money to do that unless we don't have food and water. Remember sister, we are in this world, but not of it...our home is not here...we will always see things differently. I am going to pray that you have an opportunity to minister to this young lady! A phone call or two and you may be able to get some info on her! Take her some bread or something and just see what happens!!

Let me know, OK?
Hugs, sweetie,
Becky

Persuaded said...

that really is sad... i don't know what saddens me more, the fact that she is bored and disgruntled, or the fact that none of the other ladies were able to step up and encourage her.

i hope you do have a chance to encourage her sometime... in fact i just prayed for that to happen;)

Tracy said...

How sad! I do hope she comes to see the worth in being a keeper at home and will use her creativity instead of complaining.

BTW, I love your new blog look. It's very pretty. :)

Abounding Treasures said...

Wow! That's so sad Deby that these ladies had NOTHING to offer this young woman :o(

It doesn't surprise me though because the world at large has such a negative view of *staying at home* if you are a woman, even if you have children!!

It's no wonder young girls growing up these days feel *guilty* if they have dreams of growing up to be a wife and mother ~ they will be ridiculed for having no ambition or imagination :o(

Blessings!

minpinmom said...

I miss the days of it being the norm for a woman to be at home. I feel blessed that in the short nine years I had my mom she was a homemaker. It makes me sad to think of children growing up in daycares and with nannies and sitters. I guess my sweet friend we understand how important homemakers are.

Mrs. D said...

So true. I homeschooled our kids from 5-6 grades through graduation. That was time consuming but wonderful. I've also worked outside the home. Now I have the privilege of staying home full time and volunteering weekly. You're right, there aren't enough days in the week!
But I so miss my children's childhood and the time that I was able to enjoy them. It went too fast. But there is much to do with the knowledge and experience God has given us.
There is so much I'd like to do...

HOPE said...

SAD indeed. I am currently planning my yearly ladies luncheon for our church...

the theme this year...

THE HAPPY HOMEMAKER!!!

and it's getting EXCITING!

Each lady (age 16- up) is going to wear an APRON...yep you read right..and APRON! and they are each going to BAKE a HOMEMADE PIE...for the pie contest...AND...we are having a county fair type display table of things HAND MADE!

There is so much JOY in being a homemaker..so many things to do..to make one's HOME a place of refuge of comfort.

Makes me now think of your friend Rosie.

I'm with you Deby...

I'll be posting in April about the luncheon with photos. I can't wait.

signed..THE HAPPY HOMEMAKER
HOPE

BittersweetPunkin said...

I am thrilled to be able to Stay at Home....sure, it would be great if I brought in a salary but I am so BLESSED to be home-keeping and to be here for my children and husband. I have always worked and many times I've held two jobs...but I have always longed to be at home. Blessings sometimes come disguised so maybe this young mother will come around in her thinking.

Mrs. Rabe said...

I'm like you, Deby, not enough time in the day to do all I am needing to do, or interested in or want to read....

I am sad for young women, Christian or not, who do not understand the value of being at home...

Pam--in Estonia said...

What a twisted world we live in... it's just sad.

Christian Homekeeper said...

I'm really shocked this person has children and yet makes that comment! How can I be bored when I have a daughter for which I can play with her, read a book with her, and teach her! Not just that but I have so many interests that I would like to do and don't think I would ever run out of them lol!

Someone once told me if you are bored then you are boring lol. =0

Bev

Mrs. C said...

I hope the Lord puts this young lady in your path again so that you can be an encouragement to her. I think one's attitude toward homemaking is a reflection of one's relationship with her family. Something to think about. :)

Lady-in-the-Making said...

Hey Deby,

Honey - if I get laid off - you will be reading posts on my blog from a VERY HAPPY HOMEMAKER INDEED!!!!! :)

But I do know what you are talking about. Lots of the women I work with HATE being at home - even when they are ill! They have to keep going and going and going and going. That just exhausts me.

I hope that you will someday be able to speak to this young woman. You've been such a blessing in my life!

Candy-Faith said...

I know...I hear this all the time and you know what...not only from non-Christians but I hear it from ladies in Church. Very sad! It breaks my heart...
I love being a homemaker and I thank the Lord I can be one every single day.
love candy

Miss Paula said...

Maybe God has called her to "Be Still" for a while and listen to His leading!! Sometimes it takes the sudden silence and a friends to point this out!!

jAne said...

We must've been attending the same meeting, Deby, 'cept mine was with an uncle over the phone. I was shocked into silence and am still wondering just what happened!

I have to organize my day just to fit everything in, and even then my husband doesn't want me to be too busy. He *wants* me to take time to sit, read, knit or sew, write letters, make bread, tidy and fluff. He loves when I greet him upon his return home. He loves that I take a little extra time to spiff up and smell good.

I *love* being a homemaker.

Sharon said...

Like Candy-Faith said, I've heard this from Christian women as well. You couldn't give me enough money to leave my home and family to go back into the workforce! I hope you'll get the chance to encourage this young woman.

Humble wife said...

Sigh, I am in love with my role and am amazed that so many minimize this.

I believe that not saying anything was for a reason, and perhaps you will have an opportunity to share the truth to her.

Have a wonderful weekend!
Jennifer

Pam said...

I feel the same way Deby. I can honestly never say that I'm bored! Like you, I wish I could do more during my days, like Scrapbook. Of course, you and I hold back many times due to health issues but not because we're bored!

When I deal with women, I find that word *bored* in many of their vocabularies. I never would allow my boys to even complain of being bored. Sometimes I think it's a habit of just saying it for some folks. I do sometimes feel like I've fallen in a rut but I decide to shake things up and get out of that rut once I become aware of that restless feeling that some would probably label as *bored*. It is sad that many ladies looking for encouragement these days just don't receive it, especially if they're not in a church where fellowship and encouragement can abound. I feel your heart on this issue Deby!

Heather Crist Jones said...

My first reaction to your story was: "Boy, would I love to talk to this lady. In submission to my husband, I have gone back to work after having our first child. I would like to give her a piece of my mind. She doesn't know how good she has it right now." But the Lord smote my heart and reminded me of all the things I have to be thankful for. I think our generation as a whole (myself included) needs to be more thankful. I would love to be a stay at home mom more than anything in the world. BUT I am thankful for a husband who is a leader and does what the Lord leads him and what is best for our family. I am also thankful for my job as church secretary, I am thankful for every minute that I get to spend with the two sweetest men in the world, I am thankful for the opportunities that I have to serve the Lord in my job, and I am thankful that every need I have has been supplied. If I could meet the lady you are referring to, I would share with her the verse "For whatsoever state I am in therewith to be content" found in Philippians 4. Even a non christian can apply that principle and it can change their life.

Mary Isabella and Kiley too! said...

How sad to have this time with her children and not to know how to use it. I will pray that the Lord lay upon her heart the things she can and should be doing with her children. What happened to the family dinner and to conversation, turnig off the T.V. and reading to your child or better yet having your child read to you.Very good post thanks so much for sharing. You have a beautiful weekend...m.

Mobunny said...

I'm with Calvin and Hobbs on this one.......The Days Are Just Packed & There's Treasure Everywhere!
A man in the post office said his wife broke her foot and she was bored out of her mind. I thought...how fun! Just think of the things I could crochet if my foot was broken in two places!

Anonymous said...

I worked for only a very short time because of a money emergency. My children were almost full grown at the time. When I worked I was shocked at the comments of working mothers. When some were off for maternity leave they actually Asked to come back to work earlier than their leave! They were bored "just being at home". They wre upset because they were now home with their kids all the time and their house got messed up! They were they said, used to coming home late from work and the little time they had with their kids they did not have time to get their toys out and mess up the home. While they were home they had to keep the home up and this upset them to no end! What a life these children have!! The women were used to being latch key kids themselfs and had no idea of how to entertain themselfs or work without co workers around. At home no one told them what had to be done or praised them for a job well done. At work was the only time they felt "right at home". They just could not get any other way of life. These were the same women who told me life was never like it was in the Leave it to Beaver tv shows. Never so care free, Mom home etc. Well I am here to say it for sure was. WAS is the word for many children now a days. Yes we need to speak up when God provides us with the oportunity but I too did not do enough or feel I had the words to get through to these modern wives. Their husbands now too have had working mothers and do not understand the desire of a woman to be home and their roll to be the bread winner. They feel it normal and necessary for the wife to work. Until they can see and understand how their liives would be enhanced in sooooo many ways with the wife at home helping him there things may not change. These young women or any women new to home needs a mentor. I was raised with an at home mother but she taught us very liittle. Even so I was more used to home chores and the worth of a homemaker. I too sure could have used a mentor. Now I need to keep my ears open and be that mentor. I think I need to practice what to say if a women makes the "I am bored at home" comment so I will be ready if the Lord wants me to make a lasting comment to her. Thankyou for bringing this subject up. Jody Prinston